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When a dementia patient repeatedly asks about a deceased loved one, is it kinder to tell them the painful truth each time or to create a comforting fiction to protect their fragile emotional state?

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Why this dilemma matters

These questions ask what your love is actually willing to give up. Choosing “Always tell the truth to honor their dignity and right to reality, even if it causes repeated distress” prioritises protecting the relationship; choosing “Use compassionate deception to shield them from unnecessary daily grief and provide momentary peace” gives more weight to honouring the truth.

Worth asking yourself

  • Would you want the other person to make the same call?
  • Are you protecting them or yourself?

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